Usually when I wake up in a good mood and begin pouring over twitter, facebook, swtor, swtor-life, darth hater, CRR, MER, etc…  it only takes about 15-20 minutes of reading before my mood is shot to shit and I develop an urge to commit homicide by tossing swtor forum members into a Sarlacc.  Today, I am unusually surprised to find one hell of a gem buried in the pile of rehashed shit and whipped to death horses.  This of course got me thinking, and well all know how badly that usually turns out.

 

The Official SWTOR forum user Revchong posted a GREAT idea and topic.  A mobile Pazzak App.    Thats right.  A WoW inspired idea that doesn’t make me want to pour acid on Jawas until my rage subsides.

There are tons of possibilities that I personally hadn’t thought of.

• Crafting Monitor App.
• Jawa Punting.
• Space Darts
• Space Donkey Shows
• etc…

This would provide BioWare with a micro-transaction or as they like to call it “service” (which I believe is Latin for “gimme all your money dumbass”) option that didn’t make them appear to be greedy money whoring, space bitches.  They would be extra services that really add functionality to the game that really only affect people who give a crap about that particular section of BW/SW cannon.  The rest of us would never know it was even there.  Nor would most of us even care.  God knows I wouldn’t.  Well maybe the Space Donkey show idea…

Now as much as I hate the idea of micro-transactions and people running around with little flying Jawas or pet Wamprats that do cute little things like OD on death-sticks every 30 seconds or nibble your bum when you stand still, this idea I think is sound.  Additional revenue for game funding without impacting a subscription plan and forcing us to endure a glowing button ingame that flashes every time they release a new pet Mini-Wookie [mini-wookie 2011 Flagg – Patent pending] that glitters like a barbie doll after a 3 day crack binge.

 

We all know BioWare and EA are on this moronic and silly yet persistent “social networking” kick to exploit the huge market of internet stalkers and pedophiles around the world (THANKS FACEBOOK!) because, well, lets face it.  The majority of them are idiots and have more money than common sense.  I guess in retrospect I would milk them for every penny too.  In the immortal words of my hero Forrest Gump: “Stupid is as stupid does”.    If they choose to implement something like this, the sheer volume of  “tweens”  (once again, latin for “to young to have a job but old enough to spend money”) that will bolster the games income could be justified, not to even mention adults that think $50 for  pixels of a see through wanna-be pegasus is a sound investment.  I have some great beachfront property on Hoth if you are interested…

 

In conclusion I would like to point out that I am an opinionated bastard with a lot of issues pent up having to do with my uncle forcing micro-transactions on me at a very young age.  I think he works for Cryptic now.  Anyway….

 

If I had my way I would go to BioWare and smack a release date out of them, then proceed to hide all the office snacks until I got a beta invite, but as much is in life: It just ain’t like that.  So I wait and seethe.

It’s no secret to anyone who knows me, that I despise micro-transactions and simply will not play games based on pay-to-win.  So why do I think this is a good idea?  Simple.  I don’t have to see it, experience it, or deal with it in any way.  Out of sight, out of mind.  I respect BioWare and their talent and skill, but I remain steadfast in one opinion. Someone should force-pimpslap their   PR department.  With less than 8 months until the announced window closes, we know exactly enough to cover less than 4 minutes worth of commentary on G4.   That’s so sad I think i’m gonna go adopt a kid from one of those Sally Struthers countries.  At least that way I can meet Jabba and get a cheap lawn service while I wait.